Attorneys. Fee card 7.
We read the thing you signed.
Send us the lease, the gym contract, the terms you clicked. Within 48 hours you get one page, in plain English, with the three clauses that matter.
RecitalThe lease on the hood of the car
Last March a woman signed a two-year lease on the hood of her car, in the rain. The landlord held an umbrella over the signature line and nothing else.
She read the rent and the paragraph about the dog. The lease went in a drawer. So did everything in it.
InterpretationDefinitions
In this website, unless the context requires otherwise:
- Document
- Anything you signed, initialled, clicked or scrolled past on the way to a button that said Agree.
- Read
- Every word, once, by a person. Including the capitals and the footnote to the schedule.
- 48 hours
- Two days from when we confirm receipt. Weekends count.
- You
- You. Not the Party of the First Part, the Undersigned or the Licensee.
1.The problem
Ninety thousand words is a long novel.
A normal year of signing things, written by committee and paid by the hour. The industry's answer has been to make the type smaller.
| Document | Words |
|---|---|
| Residential lease | 9,400 |
| Gym or club membership | 11,200 |
| Terms of service, one app | 15,800 |
| Car finance agreement | 7,600 |
| Condo bylaws, with schedules | 22,000 |
| Employment agreement | 6,100 |
| Terms of service, the other app | 18,300 |
| A normal year | 90,400 |
2.What we read
Three is what a person can still recite a week later.
Most of a contract is scaffolding. We read it so we can tell you it is scaffolding. Then we look for three things.
- What it costs beyond the number on the front.
- How you get out, and what stops you.
- What you give up. A deposit, a day in court, your photograph.
3.How it works
0 h24 h48 h
-
1
You send it.
Photographed, scanned, forwarded, or the link you clicked. We confirm receipt the same day and the clock starts.
-
2
One of us reads it. The other argues.
The whole thing, once, with a pencil. Then the second reader tries to knock a mark off the list.
-
3
You get the page.
Inside 48 hours. No letterhead. No cover letter explaining the letter.
There is no onboarding call. We have never worked out what gets onboarded.
4.The fee
An hourly rate is a promise to be slow.
So the fee is flat, per document, printed before anyone calls. It buys the reading and the page, not a lawsuit.
| Document type | Fee |
|---|---|
| Residential lease | $180 |
| Gym, club or subscription agreement | $120 |
| Terms of service or app agreement | $120 |
| Car or equipment finance agreement | $220 |
| Employment agreement or offer letter | $260 |
| Condo or homeowners' bylaws | $340 |
| Anything else under 15,000 words | $220 |
| Over 15,000 words | add $60 per 5,000 |
5.Found last month
Examples, details changed. Not a forecast of what is in yours.
-
5.1
A gym contract that says "perpetuity".
Fourteen thousand words, and that one is in the clause about photographs taken on the premises.
-
5.2
Rent for the month after you leave.
Called a move-out reconciliation period; nobody could say what was being reconciled.
-
5.3
A non-compete covering "any business engaged in commerce".
The client is a dental hygienist, and as written she could not work at a bakery.
-
5.4
$50 a day for the wrong front door.
Approved colours are in Schedule F, which was not attached; the board is looking.
-
5.5
An optional plan, optional for 72 hours.
$1,900 on page 3, the word optional on page 11, and the loan runs 72 months, not 60.
-
None of these documents was unusual. That is the finding.
6.The lawyers
Fourteen years drafting commercial leases, so she knows where the clauses are kept. Does not own a highlighter and has views about people who do.
Nine years in consumer finance, on the side that wrote the agreements. Left the week a colleague called a 19-page addendum "a quick one". Reads standing up.
There is no one else. No associates, no paralegals, no team.
7.Questions
Do I need to be in trouble?
No. Most of what we read has not gone wrong yet. The best time to read a lease is before it is one.
Do you fight for me?
No. We read for you. Fighting is a different trade with different shoes.
Everybody says 48 hours.
Most mean two business days. We have missed ours on four files since 2019, and all four got the page free.
Why no free consultation?
A free consultation is a sales call with a diploma behind it. The consultation is this page.
8.Clause 28
She sent it to us in April, a year in. Clause 28 says the tenant confirms she has read this agreement in full and was given adequate time to do so.
The umbrella is not mentioned.