The 40 tells · Words · No. 12
Why "pivotal" makes writing sound machine-made
Flagged "Pivotal"
"Pivotal", "crucial" and "paramount" tell the reader something matters instead of showing why. When every point on the page is crucial, none of them stands out.
Usually the sentence works better if the stakes are stated: what happens if this is skipped?
Before
Choosing the right contractor is crucial, and communication is paramount.
After
A contractor who doesn't call back before the job won't call back when something leaks.
The fix
Swap it for the concrete thing. What does it do, in words a buyer can check?
Write this instead
- the consequence
- the cost of getting it wrong
- or cut the word and keep the point
What the checker matches
Any of these, in any case:
- pivotal
- crucial
- paramount